Q - Should i dump my HIV boyfriend?
I met this great guy and we have been going out for just over a month. I really like him. He has HIV and i don't, or at least i didn't the last time i had a test. I always thought i would be cool about the HIV thing if it ever came up in a relationship and i told him it doesn't matter, but to be honest i do feel a bit funny about the whole thing. Even though we always have safer sex, it is still always in the back of my mind and if the condom breaks or whatever that i would be at risk. It kind of freaks me out and i feel it is stopping us from getting closer. I don't want to feel like this. Im too embarrassed to talk to him about how i feel and i don't have any HIV-positive friends who i can ask for their opinion. I knead want to dump him as i think it would be easier. What should i do?
Read between the lines you don't want to dump him. Maybe you should think about relationship counselling? That or talk to him… after all he is your boyfriend.
Who is to say that your previous partner were not HIV-positive? I think the best thing to do is talk to him. If he cares for you and loves you then he will listen to your fears. You can still have safer sex and if you use condoms correctly you may never be at risk of HIV. It all comes down to communication again.
I can understand your concern. You are not alone in fearing HIV from partner with HIV, and in my experience, the person with HIV usually fears this just as much -sometimes more. Have you considered this from his point of view? Everyone needs to work together in order to remove the fear and the stigma around having HIV. You say you really like this guy, so how can dumping him be the easier option? What if the next person you're in a relationship with also has HIV?
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